If I could dream, it would be about you...

I have waited ever so patiently for this moment to arrive… nearly there, almost here! Breaking Dawn, the last installment of the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer, is only 6 days away! I have reread the three previous novels in anticipation, pondering endlessly the possible conclusions. Yet, be unfooled by these statements- my blatant bias for Edward is the guiding beacon by which my assumptions are made. If for some reason Meyer uses Bella as a means to reflect her own personal choices, {family for example} and were to pair her into the mundane human/werewolf coil- I think my heart may shatter. For me, it was always Edward.

Twelve days...

… feels more like a life time. Not that I miss the life I had been living, the in and outs of fourteen months, or nearly five years for that matter. The things I have learned, unlearned- purposely lost, tragically maimed. I packed my survivors, trapped tight in their brown corrugated tombs till the re-nesting can begin. Now is filled with waiting. I will soon have my little evil, the unmentionable, unrelated task of the eight hour day. I'll take what consolation is offered, pay the bills and buy Japanese stationary. I feel stalled with these long pent desires; I want to bake, to read, to visit for hours without regret. I want to hear music, view films, smell grass. I need to linger on thoughts, feed on physical contact, savor the moments. Everything new, everything wide- still miles from what I was expecting. In the next month I expect visitors, movie nights, board games, bike rides. For August- new books, birthdays, road trips, weddings… I hope I remember all the things before this, however unseemly, unlikely, unlike me. Again.