Just like heaven...

I am enjoying the silence, wild nights of abandon taking their leave while I reflect more closely on my current circumstances. It has been lonely, temporary breaks from my solitude are welcome distractions benefiting all parties. I find that more often I am driving, here to there with the music loud. It reminds me terribly of high school in some strange way. As though I am allowed to choose my actions without fear of offending or inconveniencing anyone. I read a book when I care to and rarely eat a real meal. I sleep for an hour here, an hour there- I cannot recall the last time I felt so free. I know that this is but an interlude, how ever will I adjust to compromise again? A trip in the near future may provide better insight I believe.

It appears the breeze has taken yet another acquaintance from my past beyond the realms of mortality, to one’s chosen resting place. It is ever so unsettling; young and dangerous- they die. Hard to fathom that we are still within suicides reach post adolescence, when the most confusing of our journey is over. Perhaps a decade of surging hormones and my own suicide attempts have made me a little presumptuous. I still recall the disbelief that harbored in my 21st year. I cried, it had never occurred to me that I would come this far. But I have.

I finished The Time Travelers Wife some time ago, it embodies the only fear that remains once one’s true mate has been found. Every moment true to human nature, I adored it. I drank it in, everything and nothing at all.