I am so in love with everything about you.

It wasn’t until you had rounded the corner that you realized you had seen me. It was a little after 12 on a weekday. I had slept in and was going to class for the last few hours. Sleep still steadily clinging to my consciousness, I thought- coffee. The bus ports next to a little place called blues bros, I usually call in the morning time for my 12oz double soy latte with a single sugar in the raw. I remember the swinging glass plate of the door opening with ease and my senses formally at their leisure, coming to rigid attention. Time froze, every aesthetic detail flowed through the portals of my perception. Then sound, then scent. You in your tan blazer on your blue phone with your backpack, my heart stops- swelling and stalling like a car in rushed traffic, so terribly inconvenient. I look into your glasses, I imagine the shock overtaking my face through your eyes. I feel helpless, I feel you slipping farther away. This is how every story ends for me now, I live in dread of what you have taught me, what I in return have imposed upon myself. This is why my therapist dumped me, I still can’t find cause for solution. The sound filling the absence my heart beat, heavy like water is Postal Service, I burned her this cd. The first time she heard this was through me, I wish that this was something I could experience- ever again. I feel my eyebrows downturn, I feel my face take on disappointment, you use the same soap- you pass by me. It has been no less than 10 seconds, no more than 20. But you didn’t realize it was me until you were around the corner, thinking, “she dyed her hair red.”